Are
You Listening?Are
You Listening?
Have you ever had a misunderstanding with someone, caused by one of you not fully understanding what the other person said? As Red Aurbach once said, ‘I am not concerned with what I say, I am concerned with what others hear me say’. Are you concerned with what other people hear you say? Everyone filters what they hear through their own experiences, sometimes producing radically different results.
| No man
would listen to you talk if he did not know that it was his turn next. -- Edgar Watson Howe |
Communication is not always easy. Many experts say that most people think they are listening, but actually they are formulating what they are going to say next and waiting for a pause to jump in and attempt to make you understand their position. This is a common occurrence for most of us. We feel must defend our position at all costs.
| If
speaking is silver, then listening is gold. - Turkish Proverb |
How do we overcome these tendencies? In his book ‘The 7 Habits of Successful People’, Stephan Covey suggests ‘we should first seek to understand and then be understood’. Kenneth A. Wells says ‘a good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with’.
Be sure you listen close enough to know what the disagreement is all about!
- Joe Freeman
|
So when you are
listening to somebody, |