Is It Love?

How do you know?  How can you tell the difference between real love and a physical attraction?  I don’t think you can tell right away.  It takes times for love to develop and mature into a relationship.  What started out as a physical attraction may very well turn into love.  I’m not saying that I do not believe in ‘love at first sight’, although it has never happened to me.  I do believe that real love requires time to develop trust and build an emotional connection.

Lets assume you are in relationship that had its beginnings in a physical attraction or mutual interest.  What is the next step for this relationship?  It can grow into love, dissolve for a multitude of reasons, or it can continue without developing into real love.  

Often there are a lot of good things about a relationship that we don’t want to give up, but there is also something lacking, and we just can’t seem to put our finger on exactly what it is.  We move forward with commitments, thinking that we will figure it out later.  Or even worse, we know something isn’t quite right, but we move forward thinking we can change this person or that real love will develop later.

So, how do you know the difference between real love and a physical attraction?  I don’t have a rock solid answer for that question, but I can tell you how I resolve the issue in my mind.  I believe that before a relationship can evolve into love, you must first develop a ‘respect’ and ‘trust’ for this person.  In addition, I ask myself the following questions:

- Does this person trust me, or are they jealous?  
- Can I depend on this person?
- Can I tell this person everything, including past failures without fear of
   ridicule?
- Does this person support my dreams for the future?
- Can I support this persons dreams of the future?
- Do we make decisions together? 
- Is my opinion important to this person?
- Is this person's opinion important to me?
- Does this person listen to and understand my feelings?

The above questions are a good starting point to give you something to think about in reviewing the direction of your relationship, however the answer still belongs to you.

- Joe Freeman