I have read some where that we get 17 negative comments for each single compliment.  We have all been in a position where we have made a mistake and a supervisor or someone else will point out the error.  But how do you respond (or react) to constant negative comments?  If all these negative comments are occurring early in life, it may be a major source of the decline in self-confidence and self-esteem.

Do you feel inadequate or unsure of yourself at times.  Do you place a great deal of importance on the opinion of other people?  If you do, these seventeen negative comments may be causing you to feel even worst about yourself than you already feel, or cause you to make decisions that could impact your entire life.  When I was in high school, a teacher made a comment that ‘not everyone can go to college.  Someone has to pick up the trash’.  There were some people in the class that were glad to hear they didn’t need to go college.  At this age they knew nothing about the world and what it would require in order to be successful, but yet they were willing to heed this advice.  Where might they be today if they had not been told they didn’t need to go on to college?

So what do you do with these negative comments?  Many times these negative comments are disguised as ‘advice’.  When you receive this advice or comments, listen carefully and then make your own judgment about the value of the comment.  If the comment is sincere and on target, you can take action to improve that portion of your life.  You cannot take anything at face value.  Many people have their own agenda when they say something negative to you or about you. 

The one thing you cannot do is let the comments from other people define how you feel about yourself.  Only you can make that decision.

- Joe Freeman